Thinking has become a very big part to pass the time for me. I think about what could of happen, what happen, what will happen, who it happend too, and the cycle just gets bigger.

I'm not dwelling on anything, I just wounder.

What would of happen if I could of mustered the words I wanted to say to that boy long ago. Would 'we' be together? Would I have got with Brian. Why do I keep taking Brian back, and why dose he keep taking me back? We break up, then get back together, break up, get back, and on, and on. Sure in a way he's my first love, but that dosn't mean its forever. A year is nothing compared to a life time. Could we even last a life time? Maybe, maybe not.

How people give advice and then don't even follow it. Everytime I break up, they say "He dosn't deserve you. He's not good enough for you. I know its hard but its better off this way. You can do better." When then inturn when they break up its "He's my one true love. She'll always be the one." How can you tell someone one thing when you do the oppisite. I know that even I do it, and I hate it to be honest.

Then I wounder about the future. Where am I going. There are so many paths I can take. I could be a cosmotologist, graphic desiagner, teacher, or apart of CSI, so many other things. I want to be an art teacher, history teacher, mythology teacher, computer teacher, or a graphic design teacher. I think being a teacher would be interesring, in High school or college. I know if I was a teacher I'd be the really awesome one everyone wants. Because I know learning is boaring at times, i'd make it interesting. Being a hairstyalist would be fun, creating art on hair, I love doing my own hair, i'd like doing someone else for a change. Then you know I love Graphic designing! Or CSI, I did get a straight A's during that time in science. Plus I love to see the right person put to justice.

I have way more on my mind.... this is only a crumble from the cookie, but i'm not going to boar you......

Also please, if your going to comment on how you think Brian and I should break up again, just don't. I really dont want to hear it anymore. I take your words close to heart, I do love and appriciate you. I'm just getting tierd of it. I have to much on my mind right now, and it would just make me happy not to see any negitivity. Thanks.

So anyways..... yeah....

PEACE AND LOVE!!!!